Kt's Blog

Encouragement.

2011-05-10T20:11:00.001-07:00

Ok, has it really been two months since I posted?! Crazy, I tell ya!!

Tonight I want to talk about my lazy day. My lazy day consisted of going to work, coming home and making dinner, straightening the house and my room, cleaning the upstairs floors, and a mile walk. Oh, and watching some TV. : )

I LOVE that this feels like a lazy day to me!! I cannot tell you how amazing it feels to not only have the desire for a hard work out, but to also have the ability to complete a truly strenuous workout. Even a month ago, I would have told you that you were crazy if you would have told me that I would feel like this anytime in the near future. I was not a person that worked out on a regular basis. I was a person who would work out semi -faithfully for a week or two, and then quit. I didn't have time, or energy. But I am living proof: You have time and energy for what you make time for. The energy will come, the more you exercise, the more you will have (because the HEALTHIER you will be!!).

How did I get this way? What changed? I don't really know. I think I realized that I was serious about losing some weight, and the only way to do that is to exercise, and to do it on a more than semi-regular basis. Whenever I was debating on going downstairs and turning on Jillian, I told myself that I was done with weighing more than I want to, and if I want to change that, I have to get up and work out. So, I started working out almost every day.

And then, my friend Wheelian mentioned she was going jogging one day, and I invited myself along. HAHA. She was SO gracious and patient with me! You see, Wheelian is a jogging machine. She jogs alot, and has been jogging for a long time. I, however, have not. I thought that I would jog with her for a few minutes, and then meet back up with her later. That was not the case. She stayed by my side, and gave me tips and encouragement, and quite frankly, wouldn't let me stop jogging until we went over a mile. I had never, ever jogged a mile in my life. It was always walk-jog-walk-jog. I didn't think I was physically able. But with the help of a great friend, I pushed through all of the pain and panting and feeling like I was gonna fall over at any given moment. I did it. I really, really did it. And then, a few days later, I jogged for over TWO miles straight!! NO JOKE!!! Who knew I, the one who always hated running, could actually be able to jog that long!!

The moral of the story is this: I now know that I am capable of doing much more than I think I am. I have to push through the pain and the sweat -and it is worth it in the end.

With the help of good friends and family, and a God who will be by my side even when my friends and family cannot be, there is no telling what I can do!!

In life, I am capable of much more than I think I am. And so are you.

Zee and Simplicity.

2011-03-13T19:45:00.000-07:00

So, this weekend I took my car (who was named, "Zee" for the weekend...don't ask silly questions like why "Zee" and why would anyone name their car only for a weekend.... :-) ) on her first road trip!! I went South to meet a very, very special person who I miss very much already!! Addison was born on December 29th, and I had the privelage of meeting her for the first time this weekend! She is more beautiful and precious than I ever could have imagined!! She had to warm up to me, but by last night she was smiling like crazy at me, and even went to sleep in my arms. Those are precious moments that I will remember forever!!

Ok, we can't forget about Addison's parents - I loved getting to spend time with them, too!!! : ) Really, it was a great, relaxing weekend with amazing friends, and I am so thankful for it!!

Now it's back to reality - or better said, "responsibility." This weekend was a reality - a fantastic one!! However, it was a weekend of no responsibilities and it was literally stress free! Now that I am home, I am remembering all of the things I need to get done ... and it's not so much fun. I actually can feel myself getting a headache. (For those of you who don't know, I don't deal with stress very well...it goes straight to my head - literally!) I really need to change this, because this is not how I want to live my life. Tomorrow I am going to try to make a long list of every tiny thing that I need to do, and tomorrow night I am going to cross off at least 10 things. And, no, I don't cheat when it comes to my lists - they are made and crossed off with the care of an exam. Seriously, don't underestimate my lists!! : )

Lately God has been showing me and reminding me of how simple living for Christ really is. John 6:29 says, "Jesus answered, “The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent.” Too many times I have tried to be a "good Christian" and tried really hard to make sure I am doing what God wants me to do, etc. However, first and foremost I must believe in Christ. Then, the rest will follow. And the best part about the rest? According to John 1:16, we have grace upon grace - aka, unending grace. As believers of Christ, we are constantly "using" the grace of God - God's grace not only applies to our past, but to our present, and our future. We are humans, we mess up alot, and we are in constant need of grace. As we focus on our belief in Christ, we will begin to realize that what truly pleases God is at our core -it's about letting out that desire for communion with God that is found in our innermost being. Giving freedom to that passion will change the way you live. You will no longer live to satisfy the desires of your flesh, but you will live to satisfy the desire of your spirit. (And, I want to add that the ways that this is lived out is different for each person.)

So, all of that to say that being a Christian is simple. ; ) And, that I am realizing this simplicity needs to carry over from my spiritual life, to all aspects of my life.

Don't underestimate the King of Kings.

2011-02-20T13:34:00.000-08:00

^"1 One day as Jesus was standing by the Lake of Gennesaret, the people were crowding around him and listening to the word of God. ² He saw at the water’s edge two boats, left there by the fishermen, who were washing their nets. ³ He got into one of the boats, the one belonging to Simon, and asked him to put out a little from shore. Then he sat down and taught the people from the boat.
⁴ When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Put out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch.”
⁵ Simon answered, “Master, we’ve worked hard all night and haven’t caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets.”
⁶ When they had done so, they caught such a large number of fish that their nets began to break. ⁷ So they signaled their partners in the other boat to come and help them, and they came and filled both boats so full that they began to sink." -Luke 5

God honors obedience. However, our instructions will not always make sense to us. That is where trusting God comes into play. If we are truly serving the LORD, then we will be obedient, no matter how crazy it may seem. And the crazy part? The result of obeying results in miracles - because it is nothing that was done by human means - it won't make sense.

Help out a friend, yo!

2010-10-16T06:08:00.000-07:00

This is for my good friend, Janna! She is one of the coolest people I know.

Go to this link: http://www.sam-e.com/job/entries/88 and vote for her! And if you happen to want to check out some of her other stuff, you won't be disappointed!!

Check out her main blog www.jannagould.com

Or, check out her blog for Fuller, here

A little bit of this ... A little bit of that ...

2010-09-24T19:44:00.000-07:00

-I am amazed at how the body heals itself. It's quite interesting to observe.

-Tonight I realized that my bottle of contact solution is almost empty, and was immediately disheartened, as it is 8 bucks a bottle. But within a few seconds, I remembered all of the bottles of solution that I got for FREE that are sitting there, waiting to be used!! Thanks, Carrie, for introducing me to couponing!!!!!! : ) No more wasting money!!

-When I was younger, I used to babysit. And when it would be bedtime, the children always asked for water. I never understood why a person could be thirsty right before bed, and always attested it to not wanting to go to sleep. But the last couple of months, I have experienced this thirst for myself. I drink about the same amount of water every day, and some days, I am super thirsty right before bed! It doesn't matter how much I drink, I am still thirsty! Does anyone know why this happens? I would really like to nip this habit in the behind before it goes any further, as this habit fills my bladder right before bed, and causes me to have to get out of bed when I don't want to. Let me know your thoughts for real this time, ok? No one left any on the last post I asked for comments on ... : )

Painful Lesson...

2010-09-21T19:56:00.001-07:00

What I learned today:

-Things can change in an instant.
-For example. I will not be carrying out my plan to go running every weekday anytime soon.
-Running into the wall with only the toe next to your little toe is much more painful than running into the garage door with your head.
-I do not like the fact that part of my toe is almost black, but I will be sure to show everyone I come in contact with, as it is fascinating to me.
-I still cannot believe all of this pain and discoloration happened in an instant of clumsiness!

Moral of the story - don't run into walls.

Relationships.

2010-09-17T19:23:00.000-07:00

So here I go again, writing about relationships.

I figured it out. Why everyone feels the need for a significant other. (Ok, well, minus the physical part...lol). Take a survey, and I bet you will find that what people want in a relationship with a significant other is to feel loved, accepted, and they want someone to care so much about them that they know that something is up, even before you tell them - not to mention the part about wanting someone to always be there when you need them.

Wait .. isn't that what a friend is supposed to be? So really, all people want in a relationship (BESIDES SEX, PPL!!!) is a true and loyal friend?! So why are people constantly searching for a significant other, when we should have that loyalty in our friendships?

I understand that not everyone can be that loyal of a friend to all of their friends, but everyone should have at least one friend who they can trust to be that close and that loyal.

I think that more often than not, a girl leaves this kind of loyal friendship to have a relationship with a significant other. They say that a guy should never come between a good friendship, but in our society, it always does. And it is "acceptable."

I'm sorry, but I think this is a terrible thing. Let's let our physical attraction and our desire for that American family come between something that you have been building and working on for years. That makes sense.

I guess I am just really confused at what friendship is, and how it works and how it is supposed to work.

That's all. Sorry for the rant, but I would really like some opinions, please. Thanks!

2010-09-16T16:01:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I know it's been a really long time since I have written on this thing. It's been a really long time since I have had the time and energy to write - at the same time.

Life has been so crazy! It has it's ups and downs, for sure. But I really enjoy my life - despite the thoughts that try to creep in to tell me otherwise - I do not need the things the world says I do in order to be happy! : )

So, here's my quick blurb for the day: I am exhausted, and just want to go to sleep, but I am going to go workout with Jillian and Tiff, because that is the only way I am going to lose weight. And I am determined to lose at least 10 pounds in the next couple of months. I just need a fire under me to get me going. (And I am sure that half of a chimicheesecake I ate at lunch is going to help me in this endeavor ... ) AHHH!!!

Until next time, I will try to be as productive as I have been the last couple of days, so I will have more time to write!!! : ) And, if you want to hear me preach, come out to Delta on Saturday night at 6pm at Troy Assembly of God.

See ya Lata!

So quickly ...

2010-07-11T21:05:00.001-07:00

It's interesting how quickly fears return. All it takes is one instant, and that channel is wide open again. When I was younger, I had recurring nightmares, and horrible fear issues. Every once in a while they will try to creep back in -and tonight was one of those nights. Watching a fairly decent movie, all it took was one tiny glimpse of something that triggered something in my brain. I didn't realize it until a couple minutes later when it hit me all of a sudden. All of the intense, irrational fear and anxiety rushed over me. As I stood there, about to turn and "run," I decided to come to grips with reality -and I continued as if nothing was different (for the most part .. lol).

Two lessons were learned in that instant:

1. Be VERY VERY careful with what you allow to enter your mind. It may seem innocent, but if I would have just followed my instincts and went to bed earlier, I wouldn't have ran into any issues.

2. When you are in the midst of a hard decision, be strong - don't let the fear overtake you. YOU are the victorious one - living in the Spirit of Christ.

A Change.

2010-06-24T20:23:00.000-07:00

Hello!

I have made a few changes to the look of my site ... doesn't it make you want to go to the zoo?!! : )

I have also made a few changes to my life in the past month or so. I have started getting up a few minutes earlier to go running in the morning. There is nothing quite like a morning run in the country - esp now that I have the protection of the corn towering over me. Each day, I get up a little bit earlier, and I run a little bit longer, depending on the humidity. I have to be honest, this only happens about 3 times a week, but this week I am shooting for 4, maybe even 5. It really is a great way to start my day! For those of you who are interested, I have found that I like to listen to pandora (Shane and Shane station), with one ear phone in and one out, so that I can hear nature. : )

I am so grateful that God was gracious enough to help me work a morning workout into my routine. I am also trying to eat healthier most of the time. It is not a diet, or a weightloss plan (although I do hope to lose a few unnecessary pounds that I have gained since college) -it is a life style change. And I don't do drastic well, so I am going slow, and it seems to be working well so far!

Another thing I am trying to work into my life is relaxation. It is healthy, and I need to do it more! I have started trying to head to bed at 9:30pm, and take time for a long bath (with jets!!) before I get in bed. It is really nice, and relaxing. The only downfall is that I get hot and am hot while trying to fall asleep. Oh well. : ) I have also signed up to get massages on a semi-regular basis. I know this seems frivolous, but I think it will be beneficial to my overall health!

For those of you who are following my health when it comes to endometriosis, I went and saw a specialist last week. She was great. She spent about 20 minutes in the room with us (me and my mother, who tends to remember things better than I do), discussing the issue and the options. She gave me some different meds to try (with way less side-effects), so I started some, and will start another as soon as my current shot wears off. She was very reassuring that the disease is not damaging my body, although it is causing a lot of pain. So, we are trying to deal with the pain, and will go from there! This may not make any sense, but it's here for you to attempt to understand if you are interested. LOL. : )

Alright, I didn't make that bedtime tonight ... so hopefully I will post again soon; maybe something insightful! ; )

Today is my grandpa's 80th birthday!!!!!!!

2010-05-29T05:43:00.000-07:00

Hello, my loyal readers! (and those of you who may be new! or, not so loyal ... I mean, I am not exactly the most faithful blogger on the net .... haha)

This post is going to be a hodge podge of things. I have had a great week, despite a few minor things that are not worth going into, or happen to be TMI for the world wide web. : )

This week I stocked up on a few items ... on of them being contact solution. "Hmmm, that's an odd thing to tell us on your blog," is exactly what you are thinking. (Ok, I told you in the last post I should never assume anyone thinks like I do, but sometimes it's fun to pretend.) Well, my friends, one of the name brands of contact solution was on sale for $7.99 at Wags this week, and when you purchased it this week, you got $8 in register rewards (like walgreens cash/gift certificate to use in the next 10 days)! Not to mention the $2 off coupons I used on top of that, as well as the $1 off now coupon I found yesterday! Needless to say, I made money on this stuff. This stuff that is usually quite pricey! You got it, folks, I AM A COUPONER! New to the biz, I am not the best, but I am having fun and saving money! : )

This week has been one of building relationships. Not new relationships, but continuing to grow those that I already have in place. I have taken my evenings to spend time with some of those that I love and care about, some that I hope is the start of spending more time with them. There is something about relationships that demands priority, and I plan to keep my priorities in line.

I am super excited about the rest of this weekend - celebrating grandpa's 80th birthday today, preaching tomorrow evening, and relaxing and spending some quality time with people that I love on Monday at the lake!!

I hope to have some great stories for you next week!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GRANDPA!!! (ok, so he will never read this, but it's the thought that counts!)

Stuck in the middle.

2010-05-15T11:54:00.001-07:00

Your first thought when you read the title of this blog was either (a) "Squeezed in the middle, smack dab in the middle" (and now you want a choc chip cookie .. you're welcome.) or (b) She is in the middle of a fight between two people she knows. However, it is neither of those.

{Disclaimer: I should probably never assume any one else in the entire world thinks like I do, LOL}

I feel as though I am stuck in the middle of two stages in life: ~The single, college student, or recent college graduate~ and ~the married, career woman and/or mother~

This is unsettling in many aspects, but there is one semi-major aspect that it seems to be affecting tremendously: Friendships.

Who else in the entire world understands where I am at? The answer is probably my sisters. And I am so thankful for them, but I also need to have other friendships, to go along with the awesome relationships I have with S and T. But other than my sisters, my friends are either: (a) in a serious dating relationship (b) married (c) still in college. I firmly believe that it is possible to have great relationships with all of my friends, no matter what stages in life we are in. However, there is a limit to these relationships.

Here are some of the issues:
-I don't fully connect with anyone. There are times when I do, but I always seem to hit a wall.
-Immaturity. Sometimes our goals and desires for life are just different.
-Being a third wheel.
-Schedule conflicts.
-General conflict of interests.

You know? This is the part where I offer some great wisdom about how to deal with the issue I just wrote about, or how I am growing because of it. But I just haven't reached that point. I am in conflict, and I don't know what to do or where to go, or who to confide in.

All I know, is that being in the middle hurts.

Fine. Arts. 2010.

2010-05-10T20:12:00.000-07:00

Just a few of my fav pics that I took at IL FA2010 .... : )

Frustration.

2010-02-01T17:02:00.001-08:00

Nothing new here in Katie-world. Just more and more frustration.

I am SO THANKFUL for a full time job!! I got a job as a medical records representative. I am on day two of training, and it is exhausting. It's been a while since I've tried to cram this much info into my brain at one time. :)

However, somewhere inside there is still a disappointment that I don't have a career in the ministry. When I was younger, I feel as though I was always hearing preachers say, "The last thing I wanted to do was full time ministry, but God radically changed me and threw me into full time ministry" So, as I had a burning desire to do ministry, without "denying" my call, I never thought I would end up with a Bible/Theology degree and working an office job at the age of 23. I thought 23 would be the perfect age to be engulfed in youth ministry. I mean, afterall, I was actually PREPARED and had taken the right steps toward ministry! How would I not be in full time ministry in a church?!

Apparently God had a different plan in mind. I still have no idea what it is.

Meanwhile, I am working in three different ministries at my church. 1. I am teaching the youth Sunday School class. And I LOVE LOVE LOVE it. 2. I am a part of the Delta team. (a young adult ministry). I also LOVE this. I need the fellowship and I love love love getting to preach. 3. I am a part of the 'advisory council' for our church's other young adult ministry. I don't know how I feel about this yet. I'm not sure my vision for it lines up with the other people involved with this. I am leading this week, so we shall see!

I think that's about it for my life update. Thanks for reading.

I think i figured it out.

2010-01-16T06:13:00.001-08:00

More often than not, I am pretty reserved. I think I figured out why.

Whenever I let go of all reserve, and am really myself, I think I come off as overbearing. And every time I am comfortable with a friend, I get hurt. I just really wish that people could love me for me, despite the parts about me that they may not like. It's called love. We aren't called to love people because we enjoy being around them, or because there is nothing to dislike about them. We are called to love people. No matter how annoying we may be.

God, I thank you for loving me just the way I am. Your mercy is more than wonderful.

Can endorphins prompt talkativeness?

2010-01-14T21:46:00.000-08:00

So yesterday I wasn't in a very talkative mood -that is, until after I worked out. And minus the 12 hour migraine, I haven't stopped talking since. I am pretty sure I have started to annoy everyone around me with talking, so here are some things I have to say. Whether they are important or not, well, that is for you to decide.

I shouldn't have caffeine the night before an interview.
I need to have a better attitude about a certain situation in my life. I think I have prayed, "Remove me from this situation," or, "change the situation," enough. It is time to honestly desire for myself to have a better attitude. This is difficult because, quite frankly, I don't know how. How do I not react to certain things? How do I respond maturely? How do I support something I disagree with on so many levels? Do I have to determine to agree with it because that's the way it is and it must be "God-ordained"? This situation produces a lot of emotions and awkwardness for me. I am flat out tired of dealing with it. But it is a part of my life and I have to deal with it. I am going to start my attitude change with being thankful that this is one of the toughest things in my life right now, and put into perspective, it's really not that bad.
I still have not taken down my Christmas tree. And I didn't do laundry today like I needed to. And I didn't go to my grandparent's house like I said I prob was. And I didn't apply for any new jobs or do any job searching. And I didn't wash my car. Conclusion: I was supposed to have a productive day today, and I had a very unproductive day. But my day was not wasted, as I spent some time in prayer, as well as some time with my sisters. Thank you, Stacy for taking care of me when my head was being obnoxious this morning.
Why is it that I have SO MUCH to say?!! Can't I slow my brain down?! Why do I feel as though someone, besides God, needs to know what I am thinking?
How do I have confidence without being obnoxious or annoying? If you are my friend, will you tell me when I am being annoying or overbearing?
How come caffeine stimulates my mind so much? How come I feel so much better when having consumed it? It doesn't seem like it's so bad at the moment. But how do I consume it and not become addicted?
AHHHH so much going through my head. It must stop so I can rest for my early and busy day tomorrow.

Lord, please have your way in my life. In everything I do, may it bring glory to your name.

It's time to write.

2010-01-07T03:22:00.001-08:00

As I lay here, I am wishing that I would fall back asleep. Because I dread the exhaustion I will feel all day, esp around 3pm.

So, since I cannot sleep, I will write, because, let's face it, that's what everyone does when they can't sleep, right?

What Church Means to Me

As I reflect on my "church" experiences the last couple of months, I notice a pattern, a way of surviving, if you will. But in order for you to understand what this means to me, I must start with who I am, and how church correlates to me.

Who I am: a theologian. Even though I may not currently be practicing theology, it is what I love and who I am.
Church? Well, it serves to be a disappointment to me as a theologian.

Who I am: a Bible scholar. I do not claim to be a good Bible scholar by any means, but it is what I love and who I am.
Church? You see, it also serves to be a disappointment to me as a Bible scholar.

Who I am: a part of the body of Christ. I thrive in community, and could not live without it.
Church? Thankfully, serves to be a community to me as a part of the body of Christ.

These are three general statements, so please do not take offense. I am not speaking about one specific church, but primarily the pentecostal church, because that is what I know. (I know from experience how harmful general statements can be -harm is in no way meant.)

As I was sitting in church the other day, I became amazingly aware of something beautiful. I was surrounded by people that I love and support, and these people love and support me. As I reflect on that moment, I am so grateful that I have such a wide range of community in my life, and that it always extends to where ever I am in life -whether I see it or not. And this, this is more important to me than anything else on earth (aside from God, because, God is here on earth -in everything beautiful and loving).

However much I appreciate the community God has given me, I cannot forget the other components of who I am, and how they relate to the church. So, here goes - [stepping onto soap box]

The Church (as I have experienced it) has become so disconnected with theology and biblical scholarship, and I cannot seem to understand why this has happened. How could I have grown up in church and not have a clue about the history of Christianity until I went to college?! How come it is so important to know the history of the world we live in, yet the impact Christianity has had on it has been forgotten in not only the classroom, but the church as well?!

Sometimes the church as I know it is a joke. Where is the teaching? Where is the life of love that is to be lived, based on the teachings of Christ? Where is the knowledge that leads to abundant life? There is SO MUCH MORE to be learned, and SO MUCH MORE growth to be had.

Maybe the focus was too intellectual, so the church took the opposite approach, and left the importance of intellect out of spirituality. This is a terrible thing, folks, because there is only a certain level of spiritual maturity that can be reached without the intellectual aspect of your relationship with Christ.

I have found that among my peers, there is a longing, a deep desire for more than meets the eye. And I feel that we are being hung out to dry, forgotten within the church. Where are our mentors? Where are our teachers?

We must press on. We must learn from those who have gone before us with intellectual spirituality. I believe it can be translated as so: We. Must. Read. And we must read more than 'spiritual self help books.' We must read about our history. We must read what our founding fathers (and mothers) have left us! We must read what our theologians and biblical scholars are saying today. Because, it is important. It does matter. Even if we disagree, we must know what we are disagreeing with! It is important.

That pattern I was talking about (way back at the beginning of this post)? It's a pattern of making up for what is lacking with community. It is a way of life that I learned in college through a little thing called the Women's Roundtable. There was a lack of support for women in the department, so we came together (with the vision of Beth Staton and Barb Searcy and many other WONDERFUL women and men) and formed a community. This community was support, love, encouragement. Through this community I found personal growth, and made it through college quite successfully, despite obstacles and opposition.

I am truly grateful for that model of community, as I continue to grow in my current community of love and support.

So, in conclusion to all of this mumbo-jumbo, as the church fails me theologically and scholarly, I must do all that I can to change it. To revive the importance of intellect in the church. And I must cherish the community that I have found in the church, because, let's face it, that is why I continue to go.

I have a problem.

2009-12-27T21:18:00.000-08:00

I get on blogger.com to post a new blog, but before I can proceed to write one, I must get the latest updates on everyone else's blogs. Then, I have either lost my train of thought for the post or am too tired to actually write what I am thinking.

I will prob write tomorrow. There is a lot on my heart, and I want to share.

Gospel

2009-11-26T06:06:00.000-08:00

It is more important to live the gospel than to tell the gospel. If you are not living it, people will not listen when you tell it. The word 'gospel' has come to have a negative connotation for me. I think this may be because more often than not, I find the word used by people who are flaunting their 'gospel' sharing (which is actually contrary to the true gospel), or by people who are so concerned about sharing the 'gospel' that they flat out miss the whole concept of the 'gospel'. Thoughts?

A Lesson on Friends

2009-11-19T11:52:00.000-08:00

As you read this, I pray that you open up your heart and mind, and let God change your perspective on friendship.

At every stage of life, friendships are always difficult. As humans, we are constantly changing. Sometimes it is for the better, and sometimes life just happens. At this stage in my own life, I have struggled with friendships, and yesterday I came to a conclusion.

I am going to be a good friend to everyone, with no strings attached.

I think this is a great place for me to be. I cannot give of myself, expecting something in return. I must trust in God, and remember that I have numerous friends who are constantly pouring into my life. I must cherish them highly, yet not forget those who do not always pour back into my life. There are many reasons this happens, and it is irrelevant to discuss them because I am called to love and serve regardless.

And I really do love all of my friends. I want to be a part of all of their lives, and I want to support them. So, even when this may be difficult, I will support them in prayer, because there is no greater way to show your care for someone than by praying for them.

Proverbs 27:6- Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses. Even when a friend may hurt you, they are still your friend and will still be there to support you when times are rough.

Jesus was a friend to tax collectors. Do you really think that he 'benefited' from those relationships? I highly doubt it.

The very moment Judas betrayed Christ, Jesus called him, "friend." Think about this one. Wow, the implications!

It's funny how God speaks at just the right time

2009-10-11T12:44:00.000-07:00

I had a revelation from God last night. And it actually has everything to do with my last post.

When I was in college, I was taught that human beings are intrinsically evil. I had a real issue with this, mainly because I couldn't wrap my head/heart around the concept that God created evil beings. However, I now believe that we are intrinsically evil beings. But it's not because God created us that way - it's because of the curse of sin! Adam and Eve were not intrinsically evil, but every human after them has been and will be. Why didn't they teach me this in my theology classes? I am pretty sure they did, it simply did not click. :)

So, I am intrinsically evil, but God. God offers redemption. With God, I am on a journey to a restoration of God's intended state and purpose for creation. Because of Christ's death and resurrection, I am able to do so.

I am a dead tree, until God starts working in me, and brings me to life and bears fruit through my life. It has nothing to do with anything I can do on my own, but it is God in me, making me the person God wants me to be - and that person is awesome. God created me to be a fantastic being who carries out God's will. Without God, I am not that person. But with God, I am well on my way to awesomeness. :)

So, in case you haven't gotten the connection with my last post and this one, here it is: Self-esteem should be in correspondence to who you are after Christ's redemption. You should have confidence in who God has created you to be (you without the curse of sin), and all glory should be given to the creator. On the other hand, you must also be humbled by the fact that you are intrinsically evil, and a sinner. Only compare yourself to Christ, and you will realize your failures, yet remember that Christ died so you can be who God created you to be!

Handle with Care.

2009-10-01T20:55:00.000-07:00

There are some things said in this post that are delicate to me, so please take what you read and handle it with care.

Pride: 1 : the quality or state of being proud: as a : inordinate self-esteem : conceit b : a reasonable or justifiable self-respect

Proud: 1 : feeling or showing pride: as a : having or displaying excessive self-esteem b : much pleased :exultant c : having proper self-respect*

There is a fine line between good pride and bad pride. And I think this is an issue that is never properly addressed, if ever. Actually, I have never heard anyone else talk about it in this manner.

We are taught throughout elementary school and junior high and high school to have good self-esteem and to respect ourselves, yet at church we are taught to not be prideful or think too highly of ourselves. These are two apparent contradictions, and are never discussed together.

For most of my life, I was shy and unsure of myself. Self-esteem was never a strong point until about half-way through high school. Even now, I need frequent encouragement. I tend to doubt myself, and yet there are times when I am overconfident and prideful. How can this be?! Everyone has their ups and downs, and sometimes when I am discouraged, I cover it up with "my rights." My right to do this and my call to do that. I should be the one doing this because I could do a better job. In reality? I am frustrated with the fact that I am not doing what I feel I am called to do, and it's discouraging. My pride is almost always a show -a way of hiding my true feelings. Sometimes it's hard for me to distinguish between pride and confidence. Why? Because confidence is pride. I need to learn that pride is good - in moderation and humility. You are probably thinking - whoa, how do you have humble pride? Humble: 1 : not proud or haughty : not arrogant or assertive 2 : reflecting, expressing, or offered in a spirit of deference or submission. So, it's possible; it's possible to have a humble pride - confidence with a spirit of respect and esteem.

*All definitions taken from m-w.com

Success.

2009-09-29T12:11:00.000-07:00

This is a post I started writing a while ago, and never finished. I am interested to see what your thoughts are on it. Please comment! :)

"Do we really explore the possibilities of God?

What's the most exciting thing in your life? Don't answer me, answer straight up to God. Tell Him what is the most exciting thing.

That you become more knowledgeable, make more money, become more fit?

What is the most exciting thing to you?

Is it that day by day you slip in to Him and worship and adore Him?"

-Leonard Ravenhill

So I have been thinking lately about "success." As a recent (although it's really not all that recent anymore....) college grad, I have thought a lot about success as the world defines it. To world, success is (a) having a job (b) having a good/decent paying job (c) enjoying that said job (d) buying things such as a house, or a new car with the money from said job. oh, and don't forget the kids. yes, success is also obtained by finding and marrying the person "of your dreams" and having beautiful children. In conclusion, being single, unemployed, and living with your parents after reception of college degree is highly unsuccessful, and quite loser-ish in the eyes of society.

However, I have come to the realization that God's concept of success is COMPLETELY different.

I just want you to know ...

2009-09-01T21:14:00.000-07:00

It's the little things about myself that I want someone to know and love. For instance, tonight I balanced my check book and organized some papers that have been piling up for a month now, and I feel so on top of things! It's not that I feel productive or accomplished, but I feel like me. I thrive off of being organized and on top of things; I can't tell you how freeing it is to have my to-do list shortened, much less finished!! (however, it never seems to be finished .. haha) It is this little aspect of who I am that I want someone to notice and cherish. Not that it is something to be cherished, but because it is who I am.

P.S. This is the type of post where I share my heart, so please don't abuse what you read. :)

Um, WHAT?!

2009-08-26T16:20:00.001-07:00

I usually avoid political talk on my online social networks, but this was utterly disturbing to me, and I feel that I need to share.

I apologize if I offend anyone, that is not my intention - AT ALL.

While watching msnbc news, I heard a guy talking about Ted Kennedy and Obama's health care plan. He related the two, and said that he thinks that if Obama uses Ted Kennedy's name to promote the plan, then he has a chance at passing it.

EXCUSE ME?!!! That is disgusting in more ways that ONE! Let's use a DEAD GUY (excuse my disrespect, but I feel that I have more respect than the guy on television), to promote a POLITICAL stance that will change the lives of an ENTIRE NATION?!!

Wow, I am not sure I have heard anything more disrespectful, EVER. Let's use this guy's death to promote our own agenda.

And let me tell ya, if it "works" and it passes, that will be PROOF that the bill will be BEST for our country .. because we want to respect a dead guy. COME ON, PPL!

Oh, one more thing. I am sure that Ted Kennedy was worried about how the health care plan would affect him, considering he was getting the top notch care in America - which WILL decline under this health care program, btw, but he knew he would be long gone before the changes would take effect.

I'm gonna be real for a bit

2009-08-24T21:22:00.000-07:00

I think I have come to a realization, and I don't like it. Let me reinforce that statement- I DON'T like it. Here goes ....

I have a lot of friends. But I don't have anyone that calls me "best friend." And it kinda sucks sometimes.

Running out of battery.

2009-08-18T21:47:00.001-07:00

First things, first: I have been a major slacker in blogworld, and i send my sincere apologies.

So, my computer is currently running out of battery, literally. I could go plug it in, but I am determined to make this a short, but hopefully meaningful post.

As my computer is running out of battery, so I also feel as though I am running out of power. I have been running on 'battery,' instead of plugging into the one true power source of life. I find my fulfillment in things of this world - material stuff, having fun, being with friends, etc.

I'm done. I no longer want to desire the things of this world. I want to die to my flesh daily. I want to do the LORD's work - no matter if it's part of my 'dream' or not.

As an off subject sidenote that I need to get out:

I am thankful for good friends. (and I had a GREAT time tonight!) But I am sick of putting so much into relationships to not have the same in return. And I am tired of seeing you do it to my sisters and brothers in Christ, too. It's all in your priorities, and your priorities are seen in your actions. If we are gonna be the body of Christ, can we please have the love of Christ and put others first once in a while?! And that love is not supposed to be just for those that you ENJOY hanging out with. Life is about more than having things go perfectly in your little world. Thanks.

Presence.

2009-06-29T18:08:00.000-07:00

1 Sam 6:20

"Who can stand in the presence of the LORD, this holy God?”

Psalm 114

1 When Israel came out of Egypt, the house of Jacob from a people of foreign tongue,

2 Judah became God's sanctuary, Israel his dominion.

3 The sea looked and fled, the Jordan turned back;

4 the mountains skipped like rams, the hills like lambs.

5 Why was it, O sea, that you fled, O Jordan, that you turned back,

6 you mountains, that you skipped like rams, you hills, like lambs?

7 Tremble, O earth, at the presence of the Lord, at the presence of the God of Jacob,

8 who turned the rock into a pool, the hard rock into springs of water.

I will fear the LORD's presence.

1 Kings 19:11-13

The LORD said, "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by."  Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.

The LORD is in the stillness. I will respond with humility and deep respect.

2 Kings 22:14-20

Hilkiah the priest, Ahikam, Acbor, Shaphan and Asaiah went to speak to the prophetess Huldah, who was the wife of Shallum son of Tikvah, the son of Harhas, keeper of the wardrobe. She lived in Jerusalem, in the Second District.

She said to them, "This is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says: Tell the man who sent you to me, 'This is what the LORD says: I am going to bring disaster on this place and its people, according to everything written in the book the king of Judah has read. Because they have forsaken me and burned incense to other gods and provoked me to anger by all the idols their hands have made, my anger will burn against this place and will not be quenched.' Tell the king of Judah, who sent you to inquire of the LORD, 'This is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says concerning the words you heard: Because your heart was responsive and you humbled yourself before the LORD when you heard what I have spoken against this place and its people, that they would become accursed and laid waste, and because you tore your robes and wept in my presence, I have heard you, declares the LORD. Therefore I will gather you to your fathers, and you will be buried in peace. Your eyes will not see all the disaster I am going to bring on this place.' "  

The LORD will hear me when I render my heart and humble myself in the LORD's presence.

Mark 7:24-25

Jesus left that place and went to the vicinity of Tyre. He entered a house and did not want anyone to know it; yet he could not keep his presence secret. In fact, as soon as she heard about him, a woman whose little daughter was possessed by an evil spirit came and fell at his feet.

We cannot deny, or run from the LORD's presence.

Psalm 18:6-17

In my distress I called to the LORD; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears

The earth trembled and quaked, and the foundations of the mountains shook; they trembled because he was angry.

Smoke rose from his nostrils; consuming fire came from his mouth, burning coals blazed out of it.

He parted the heavens and came down; dark clouds were under his feet.

He mounted the cherubim and flew; he soared on the wings of the wind.

He made darkness his covering, his canopy around him—the dark rain clouds of the sky.

Out of the brightness of his presence clouds advanced, with hailstones and bolts of lightning.

The LORD thundered from heaven; the voice of the Most High resounded.

He shot his arrows and scattered the enemies , great bolts of lightning and routed them.

The valleys of the sea were exposed and the foundations of the earth laid bare at your rebuke, O LORD, at the blast of breath from your nostrils.

He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters.

He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too strong for me.

In the LORD's presence, I am saved.

Psalm 16:11

You will make known to me the path of life;

In Your presence is fullness of joy;

My favorite part of the LORD's presence. Joy.

Revelation 4:9-11
Whenever the living creatures give glory, honor and thanks to him who sits on the throne and who lives for ever and ever, the twenty-four elders fall down before him who sits on the throne, and worship him who lives for ever and ever. They lay their crowns before the throne and say:
"You are worthy, our Lord and God,
to receive glory and honor and power,
for you created all things,
and by your will they were created
and have their being."

My other favorite part of the LORD's presence. Equality.

Exodus 33:12-15

Moses said to the LORD, "You have been telling me, 'Lead these people,' but you have not let me know whom you will send with me. You have said, 'I know you by name and you have found favor with me.' If you are pleased with me, teach me your ways so I may know you and continue to find favor with you. Remember that this nation is your people."

The LORD replied, "My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest."

Then Moses said to him, "If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here. . ." [emphasis added]

Desperate for the LORD's presence.

Psalm 89:15

Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim you, who walk in the light of your presence, O LORD.

May I never leave your presence, O LORD. I will worship you in your presence. I will worship you always.

Could you make a little more sense, please?

2009-05-06T07:08:00.000-07:00

"Truly, the Lord loves you, and he will not turn a deaf ear to your cries. Hold on to his promises. Move on in faith. Wait on him patiently. He will never fail you."

I read this statement on this blog. It is just one of many of the sort that DRIVE ME CRAZY these days. Why, you ask? Well let's dissect it, two sentences inparticular:

"Move on in faith. Wait on him patiently."

Move on. Wait. no, move on. go for it. but wait. wait on God. but don't be afraid to move. WHAT?!!

Please, someone make up their mind. Or, you could simply clarify, but STOP CONFUSING ME!!!! I don't know what I should do, and apparently no one else does either.... hahaha. It's a good thing that THE LORD knows what's best for me. :)

Thanksgiving is not just for November.

2009-05-01T09:01:00.001-07:00

I just want to publicly declare my gratitude for my car.

I am thankful for my car. Although it's quite noisy at times, it always starts. Sometimes it tells me that a door is ajar when all four doors are closed tightly, but at least those doors still open and close with ease. When it's really cold outside, my heat doesn't work and when it's hot outside my air conditioning doesn't work, but the windows still open.

I have had my car for over 5 and a half years, and I bought it used, seeing as it is a 1999 model. I have only had to have major work done on it once a few years ago. There have been minor things here and there, but nothing too major or too costly. And for this is I am extremely thankful.

To my car that I never named:

You have been a great car, and I will be grateful to have you as long as you continue to run well - don't let me down!! P.S. I am sorry about your front bumper ... that was a rough day a long time ago, and besides, you are still beautiful on the inside! :)

2009-04-15T21:10:00.000-07:00

I came across a great quote. This is all.

"Women in ministry is not about the cause of women but the cause of Christ. It is not about being a feminist; it’s about sharing hope."

(taken from: this site.)

Easter

2009-04-11T12:46:00.000-07:00

There are lots of things that Easter brings:

Eggs.

Lots of Eggs.

Baskets.

Bunnies.

Chocolate.

Pastel colors.

New Dresses.

White shoes.

Great food.

Time with Family.

But all of those things are insignificant compared to . . .

The Passover Meal.

The broken bread.

The covenantal cup.

The Prayers in Gethsemane.

The betrayal.

The accusations.

The beatings.

The mocking.

The blood.

The Cross.

The death.

The burial.

The Resurrection.

The Empty Tomb.

The New Covenant.

The Redemption.

here it goes!

2009-03-31T13:13:00.000-07:00

I have so much to say - and yet I blog minimally and about silly/fun things. I think I have figured out why: in the not-so-back of my head I think that whatever I write has to be perfect and profound. so unless I have something perfectly prepared in my head, I don't write about it. Well, I hope those days are over! I want to just write. no pre-conceived ideas or pretenses about what my blog should be or say.

I was reading this blog, and loved what God was speaking to her in that moment through her dad:

"You know what I'm thinking of doing, Angela? I'm thinking of just putting up a blank canvas and just kind of going crazy, you know? Not have a plan for how it's going to turn out, but just get my brushes out and just do it."

Sometimes it's ok, even best, to just let go. No fear of imperfections or mistakes, or even the final outcome. Just pure passion and intense action. [God knows the outcome, and I need to trust God instead of sitting here scared of doing something that will cause the final picture to be disorderly.]

One place I am going to start is with self-discipline. I am going to give myself a routine, a routine that can be modified, but a routine nonetheless. I am going to start eating healthier. This involves preparation and time, as well as quick decisions and sacrifice. I am going to start exercising on a regular basis. I am going to have better sleeping habits. The most important thing I am going to do is set a time for Bible reading and prayer on a regular basis. I read the Bible and pray, but because my life has no routine, I do it whenever. Which I still would like to do, but on top of my regular reading a prayer.

These are things which I need to do on my own. I have accountability with several of these things, and I am so thankful for that because I need it. However, ultimately I need to be doing these things because I want to, and my desire to do these things must come from pure motives, motives that are grounded in living my life as a sacrifice unto God. Selfless reasons. Humble ambitions. I don't want to do these things because it's expected of me. And I also do not want to do these things in order to someday reach perfection, but my desire behind these aspirations is so that I might be all that I was created to be -which is disgusting without the redemption of Christ.

Oh, and for your enjoyment: my dear friend Ju-Ju let me use her snuggie during my visit, and it was only appropriate to adorn it with her rosary. :)

Cleveland!!

2009-03-28T17:31:00.000-07:00

Hello, blog readers!

I am blogging from good ol' Cleveland, TN once again. :) No worries, though, I am just visiting for the weekend.

I am having a great time! I have seen lots of friends and enjoyed some of my guilty pleasures - actually I have enjoyed ALL of my guilty pleasures:

1. Dr. Pepper

2. Chocolate Chip Cookies

3. Zaxby's

4. Ruffles Cheddar and Sour Cream potato chips

On the way down here I had a small bag of those amazing chips. Yesterday I had Zaxby's for lunch, and after dinner I had warm chocolate chip cookies. and yes, that is plural..... And today I had a dr. pepper. Could it get any better?!!

Ok, back to real life. I have been really encouraged by several of my friends here about my current status and future life decisions. And I have gotten to have many stimulating conversations with people that I have missed oh so much!! Basically, I am having a great time!!

My fav animal...

2009-03-24T17:16:00.000-07:00

I would just like to share this with you. :) (You may have to click on the pic to see the whole thing....sorry!)

see more pwn and owned pictures

Iron-y

2009-03-05T20:04:00.001-08:00

UPDATE: I just want to reiterate something I said at the end of this post: I would LOVE to talk with you about these issues, but I am begging you, please, please take a day or two and pray about it and meditate on it before you approach me! And again, I thank you. :)

Ironically, just minutes before I created this blog, I wrote on my old blog, stating that it still existed. haha. Sometimes it's funny how life works. :) Anywho, I wanted to post that same blog here, minus the opening statement. :)

Today, you can call me Suzie Homemaker. The last time I told my mom that I had been Suzie Homemaker, she said, "Katie Homemaker." To which I replied: "No, Suzie Homemaker -- my identity is not in homemaking, it is simply something I do once in a while."

Yes, I am a feminist. No, I am in no way suggesting that there is anything wrong with being a "homemaker." In fact, I think that homemaking is quite an art, and I look forward to making my own home someday (Could it be sooner rather than later, Lord?). However, for me personally, and I believe it is with many other women, homemaking is not something I want to be identified with simply because I am a woman!! (I think that men are just as capable of being a homemaker, and many men could do a much better job at it than I ever could...) In fact, homemaking is not something I want anyone to identify me by. First off and foremost, I want to be identified by who I am in Christ. Secondly, I want to be identified with the talents that God has given me to use in ministry! (Because God has called me to ministry. If God has called you to homemaking, then GO FOR IT, and pursue it with all you've got!) Then, someday if someone happens to put me in a "homemaker" category as something I do on the side of my purpose in life, I will gladly accept that charge.

You see, one of my favorite parts of today was, believe it or not, ministry. My church has an upcoming event for the kiddos, and somehow I ended up making the flyers for it. (I am sure that it was a God-thing, btw.) Today I spent a couple hours printing and cutting over 800 flyers. (Thank you, AB and Starlite for hours and hours of experience in that department!!) I loved getting to use the gifts God has given me -including the precious gift of time- to play a small part in the impact in the life of (prayerfully) many, many kids! Especially, since, you know, I DO NOT LIKE KIDS. Ok, I like some kids, sometimes. And I love a lot of kids, most of the time. But overall, I am not all about them. Making the flyers gives me the opportunity to have a part in something that isn't exactly my 'cup of tea.' And, yes, I somehow enjoyed the time I spent in the church office by myself (the part where Pastor came in and about gave me a heart attack-not so much). I just love serving others, and I thrive off of getting to be a part of ministry!!

Ok, back to the feminist thing. If it bothers you that I am a feminist, then I suggest that you first take the time to find out what being a feminist really entails. (BTW, There is quite a wide range of feminism out there, some more conservative, and others more liberal.) And if you are still bothered by it, I encourage you to pray about it, and to read about women's liberation in a little book we like to call ---The Bible. Yes, folks, you read correctly. Jesus Christ came to bring liberation to all people -even women! Have you ever read John 4, where Jesus talks to a woman at a well? Yeah, well, men (esp Jewish men) did not go to wells, much less TALK to women who were there (esp SAMARITAN women...). But Jesus did. He did not care about the restrictions of the culture (esp the RELIGIOUS culture!), rather, Jesus cared about the spiritual well being of a person, who just happened to be a woman. :)

Oh! The implications of that story in John 4 never cease to astound me!! Especially the implications of the little words in pink. Jesus was a Jew. Jews were (and are) God's chosen people. Yes, folks, that is the same God that Christians serve. When Christ came, he provided a way for ALL people to be a part of God's chosen people, despite their ethnicity, religion, or gender (among many other things ...). So, if Judaism was "the religion" of the day (kind of like many people consider Christianity to be "the religion" of the day today...), and Jesus turned Judaism and many of its legalistic ideas upside down (have you ever read the New Testament, people!?), then why are we not called to do the same with Christianity? Because over the last couple thousand years, I believe that Christianity as a religion has been distorted because, let's face it, that's 2000 years of BEING HUMAN...and we are by no means perfect. Think about it - 2000 years of mistakes. Yes, God is sovereign, and I believe that there is much truth still to be found in Christianity (hence, I am a Christian...), but I also believe that it is well worth it to (pardon the 4 Him reference coming on...I'm really really sorry....) "GET BACK TO THE BASICS." And what, you may ask, are those basics? Well, my friends, I am sure I am missing a few at least, but here is what comes to mind.

Jesus Christ is the Messiah, who lived on earth as fully divine as well as fully incarnate.
Christ's ministry was ~~revolutionary~~ unorthodox.
Christ LOVED ALL people.
Christ died on a cross to bear the sins of humanity.
Christ rose again!

(It wouldn't be a complete post without a list of some sort! And what better list to have?? hehe)

Well, I have said a lot. Over 900 words to be exact. And I have said a lot that some would see as controversial, but these are all things from my heart. I am so thankful that God has allowed me to learn what I have learned, and that I am nowhere even near done learning!! So feel free to talk to me about any questions or concerns you may have! Although, I do ask that you spend some time in prayer over the issue before approaching me about it. :) Thanks!

I love you all,

Katie

I have moved!

2009-03-05T19:33:00.000-08:00

I have been thinking a lot lately about switching blogging hosts -- I have been jealous of everyone's cute little blog on blogger. And, my old host wanted me to pay to truly customize. And, quite frankly, I am not all about that. So, here I am.