I have a problem.

I get on blogger.com to post a new blog, but before I can proceed to write one, I must get the latest updates on everyone else's blogs. Then, I have either lost my train of thought for the post or am too tired to actually write what I am thinking.

I will prob write tomorrow. There is a lot on my heart, and I want to share.

Gospel

It is more important to live the gospel than to tell the gospel. If you are not living it, people will not listen when you tell it. The word 'gospel' has come to have a negative connotation for me. I think this may be because more often than not, I find the word used by people who are flaunting their 'gospel' sharing (which is actually contrary to the true gospel), or by people who are so concerned about sharing the 'gospel' that they flat out miss the whole concept of the 'gospel'. Thoughts?

A Lesson on Friends

As you read this, I pray that you open up your heart and mind, and let God change your perspective on friendship.

At every stage of life, friendships are always difficult. As humans, we are constantly changing. Sometimes it is for the better, and sometimes life just happens. At this stage in my own life, I have struggled with friendships, and yesterday I came to a conclusion.

I am going to be a good friend to everyone, with no strings attached.

I think this is a great place for me to be. I cannot give of myself, expecting something in return. I must trust in God, and remember that I have numerous friends who are constantly pouring into my life. I must cherish them highly, yet not forget those who do not always pour back into my life. There are many reasons this happens, and it is irrelevant to discuss them because I am called to love and serve regardless.

And I really do love all of my friends. I want to be a part of all of their lives, and I want to support them. So, even when this may be difficult, I will support them in prayer, because there is no greater way to show your care for someone than by praying for them.


Proverbs 27:6- Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses. Even when a friend may hurt you, they are still your friend and will still be there to support you when times are rough.

Jesus was a friend to tax collectors. Do you really think that he 'benefited' from those relationships? I highly doubt it.

The very moment Judas betrayed Christ, Jesus called him, "friend." Think about this one. Wow, the implications!

It's funny how God speaks at just the right time

I had a revelation from God last night. And it actually has everything to do with my last post.

When I was in college, I was taught that human beings are intrinsically evil. I had a real issue with this, mainly because I couldn't wrap my head/heart around the concept that God created evil beings. However, I now believe that we are intrinsically evil beings. But it's not because God created us that way - it's because of the curse of sin! Adam and Eve were not intrinsically evil, but every human after them has been and will be. Why didn't they teach me this in my theology classes? I am pretty sure they did, it simply did not click. :)

So, I am intrinsically evil, but God. God offers redemption. With God, I am on a journey to a restoration of God's intended state and purpose for creation. Because of Christ's death and resurrection, I am able to do so.

I am a dead tree, until God starts working in me, and brings me to life and bears fruit through my life. It has nothing to do with anything I can do on my own, but it is God in me, making me the person God wants me to be - and that person is awesome. God created me to be a fantastic being who carries out God's will. Without God, I am not that person. But with God, I am well on my way to awesomeness. :)

So, in case you haven't gotten the connection with my last post and this one, here it is: Self-esteem should be in correspondence to who you are after Christ's redemption. You should have confidence in who God has created you to be (you without the curse of sin), and all glory should be given to the creator. On the other hand, you must also be humbled by the fact that you are intrinsically evil, and a sinner. Only compare yourself to Christ, and you will realize your failures, yet remember that Christ died so you can be who God created you to be!

Handle with Care.

There are some things said in this post that are delicate to me, so please take what you read and handle it with care.

Pride: 1 : the quality or state of being proud: as a : inordinate self-esteem : conceit b : a reasonable or justifiable self-respect

Proud: 1 : feeling or showing pride: as a : having or displaying excessive self-esteem b : much pleased :exultant c : having proper self-respect*

There is a fine line between good pride and bad pride. And I think this is an issue that is never properly addressed, if ever. Actually, I have never heard anyone else talk about it in this manner.

We are taught throughout elementary school and junior high and high school to have good self-esteem and to respect ourselves, yet at church we are taught to not be prideful or think too highly of ourselves. These are two apparent contradictions, and are never discussed together.

For most of my life, I was shy and unsure of myself. Self-esteem was never a strong point until about half-way through high school. Even now, I need frequent encouragement. I tend to doubt myself, and yet there are times when I am overconfident and prideful. How can this be?! Everyone has their ups and downs, and sometimes when I am discouraged, I cover it up with "my rights." My right to do this and my call to do that. I should be the one doing this because I could do a better job. In reality? I am frustrated with the fact that I am not doing what I feel I am called to do, and it's discouraging. My pride is almost always a show -a way of hiding my true feelings. Sometimes it's hard for me to distinguish between pride and confidence. Why? Because confidence is pride. I need to learn that pride is good - in moderation and humility. You are probably thinking - whoa, how do you have humble pride? Humble: 1 : not proud or haughty : not arrogant or assertive 2 : reflecting, expressing, or offered in a spirit of deference or submission. So, it's possible; it's possible to have a humble pride - confidence with a spirit of respect and esteem.

*All definitions taken from m-w.com

Success.

This is a post I started writing a while ago, and never finished. I am interested to see what your thoughts are on it. Please comment! :)

"Do we really explore the possibilities of God?

What's the most exciting thing in your life? Don't answer me, answer straight up to God. Tell Him what is the most exciting thing.

That you become more knowledgeable, make more money, become more fit?

What is the most exciting thing to you?

Is it that day by day you slip in to Him and worship and adore Him?"

-Leonard Ravenhill

So I have been thinking lately about "success." As a recent (although it's really not all that recent anymore....) college grad, I have thought a lot about success as the world defines it. To world, success is (a) having a job (b) having a good/decent paying job (c) enjoying that said job (d) buying things such as a house, or a new car with the money from said job. oh, and don't forget the kids. yes, success is also obtained by finding and marrying the person "of your dreams" and having beautiful children. In conclusion, being single, unemployed, and living with your parents after reception of college degree is highly unsuccessful, and quite loser-ish in the eyes of society.

However, I have come to the realization that God's concept of success is COMPLETELY different.

I just want you to know ...

It's the little things about myself that I want someone to know and love. For instance, tonight I balanced my check book and organized some papers that have been piling up for a month now, and I feel so on top of things! It's not that I feel productive or accomplished, but I feel like me. I thrive off of being organized and on top of things; I can't tell you how freeing it is to have my to-do list shortened, much less finished!! (however, it never seems to be finished .. haha) It is this little aspect of who I am that I want someone to notice and cherish. Not that it is something to be cherished, but because it is who I am.

P.S. This is the type of post where I share my heart, so please don't abuse what you read. :)

Um, WHAT?!

I usually avoid political talk on my online social networks, but this was utterly disturbing to me, and I feel that I need to share.

I apologize if I offend anyone, that is not my intention - AT ALL.

While watching msnbc news, I heard a guy talking about Ted Kennedy and Obama's health care plan. He related the two, and said that he thinks that if Obama uses Ted Kennedy's name to promote the plan, then he has a chance at passing it.

EXCUSE ME?!!! That is disgusting in more ways that ONE! Let's use a DEAD GUY (excuse my disrespect, but I feel that I have more respect than the guy on television), to promote a POLITICAL stance that will change the lives of an ENTIRE NATION?!!

Wow, I am not sure I have heard anything more disrespectful, EVER. Let's use this guy's death to promote our own agenda.

And let me tell ya, if it "works" and it passes, that will be PROOF that the bill will be BEST for our country .. because we want to respect a dead guy. COME ON, PPL!

Oh, one more thing. I am sure that Ted Kennedy was worried about how the health care plan would affect him, considering he was getting the top notch care in America - which WILL decline under this health care program, btw, but he knew he would be long gone before the changes would take effect.

I'm gonna be real for a bit

I think I have come to a realization, and I don't like it. Let me reinforce that statement- I DON'T like it. Here goes ....

I have a lot of friends. But I don't have anyone that calls me "best friend." And it kinda sucks sometimes.

Running out of battery.

First things, first: I have been a major slacker in blogworld, and i send my sincere apologies.

So, my computer is currently running out of battery, literally. I could go plug it in, but I am determined to make this a short, but hopefully meaningful post.

As my computer is running out of battery, so I also feel as though I am running out of power. I have been running on 'battery,' instead of plugging into the one true power source of life. I find my fulfillment in things of this world - material stuff, having fun, being with friends, etc.

I'm done. I no longer want to desire the things of this world. I want to die to my flesh daily. I want to do the LORD's work - no matter if it's part of my 'dream' or not.

As an off subject sidenote that I need to get out:

I am thankful for good friends. (and I had a GREAT time tonight!) But I am sick of putting so much into relationships to not have the same in return. And I am tired of seeing you do it to my sisters and brothers in Christ, too. It's all in your priorities, and your priorities are seen in your actions. If we are gonna be the body of Christ, can we please have the love of Christ and put others first once in a while?! And that love is not supposed to be just for those that you ENJOY hanging out with. Life is about more than having things go perfectly in your little world. Thanks.

Presence.

1 Sam 6:20

"Who can stand in the presence of the LORD, this holy God?”

Psalm 114

1 When Israel came out of Egypt, the house of Jacob from a people of foreign tongue,

2 Judah became God's sanctuary, Israel his dominion.

3 The sea looked and fled, the Jordan turned back;

4 the mountains skipped like rams, the hills like lambs.

5 Why was it, O sea, that you fled, O Jordan, that you turned back,

6 you mountains, that you skipped like rams, you hills, like lambs?

7 Tremble, O earth, at the presence of the Lord, at the presence of the God of Jacob,

8 who turned the rock into a pool, the hard rock into springs of water.

I will fear the LORD's presence.

1 Kings 19:11-13

The LORD said, "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by." 
Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.

The LORD is in the stillness. I will respond with humility and deep respect.

2 Kings 22:14-20

Hilkiah the priest, Ahikam, Acbor, Shaphan and Asaiah went to speak to the prophetess Huldah, who was the wife of Shallum son of Tikvah, the son of Harhas, keeper of the wardrobe. She lived in Jerusalem, in the Second District.

She said to them, "This is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says: Tell the man who sent you to me, 'This is what the LORD says: I am going to bring disaster on this place and its people, according to everything written in the book the king of Judah has read. Because they have forsaken me and burned incense to other gods and provoked me to anger by all the idols their hands have made, my anger will burn against this place and will not be quenched.' Tell the king of Judah, who sent you to inquire of the LORD, 'This is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says concerning the words you heard: Because your heart was responsive and you humbled yourself before the LORD when you heard what I have spoken against this place and its people, that they would become accursed and laid waste, and because you tore your robes and wept in my presence, I have heard you, declares the LORD. Therefore I will gather you to your fathers, and you will be buried in peace. Your eyes will not see all the disaster I am going to bring on this place.' " 


The LORD will hear me when I render my heart and humble myself in the LORD's presence.

Mark 7:24-25

Jesus left that place and went to the vicinity of Tyre. He entered a house and did not want anyone to know it; yet he could not keep his presence secret. In fact, as soon as she heard about him, a woman whose little daughter was possessed by an evil spirit came and fell at his feet.

We cannot deny, or run from the LORD's presence.

Psalm 18:6-17

In my distress I called to the LORD; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears

The earth trembled and quaked, and the foundations of the mountains shook; they trembled because he was angry.

Smoke rose from his nostrils; consuming fire came from his mouth, burning coals blazed out of it.

He parted the heavens and came down; dark clouds were under his feet.

He mounted the cherubim and flew; he soared on the wings of the wind.

He made darkness his covering, his canopy around him—the dark rain clouds of the sky.

Out of the brightness of his presence clouds advanced, with hailstones and bolts of lightning.

The LORD thundered from heaven; the voice of the Most High resounded.

He shot his arrows and scattered the enemies , great bolts of lightning and routed them.

The valleys of the sea were exposed and the foundations of the earth laid bare at your rebuke, O LORD, at the blast of breath from your nostrils.

He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters.

He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too strong for me.

In the LORD's presence, I am saved.

Psalm 16:11

You will make known to me the path of life;

In Your presence is fullness of joy;

My favorite part of the LORD's presence. Joy.

Revelation 4:9-11

Whenever the living creatures give glory, honor and thanks to him who sits on the throne and who lives for ever and ever, the twenty-four elders fall down before him who sits on the throne, and worship him who lives for ever and ever. They lay their crowns before the throne and say:
"You are worthy, our Lord and God,
to receive glory and honor and power,
for you created all things,
and by your will they were created
and have their being."

My other favorite part of the LORD's presence. Equality.

Exodus 33:12-15

Moses said to the LORD, "You have been telling me, 'Lead these people,' but you have not let me know whom you will send with me. You have said, 'I know you by name and you have found favor with me.' If you are pleased with me, teach me your ways so I may know you and continue to find favor with you. Remember that this nation is your people."

The LORD replied, "My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest."

Then Moses said to him, "If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here. . ." [emphasis added]

Desperate for the LORD's presence.

Psalm 89:15

Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim you, who walk in the light of your presence, O LORD.

May I never leave your presence, O LORD. I will worship you in your presence. I will worship you always.

Could you make a little more sense, please?

"Truly, the Lord loves you, and he will not turn a deaf ear to your cries. Hold on to his promises. Move on in faith. Wait on him patiently. He will never fail you."

I read this statement on this blog. It is just one of many of the sort that DRIVE ME CRAZY these days. Why, you ask? Well let's dissect it, two sentences inparticular:

"Move on in faith. Wait on him patiently."

Move on. Wait. no, move on. go for it. but wait. wait on God. but don't be afraid to move. WHAT?!!

Please, someone make up their mind. Or, you could simply clarify, but STOP CONFUSING ME!!!! I don't know what I should do, and apparently no one else does either.... hahaha. It's a good thing that THE LORD knows what's best for me. :)

Thanksgiving is not just for November.

I just want to publicly declare my gratitude for my car.

I am thankful for my car. Although it's quite noisy at times, it always starts. Sometimes it tells me that a door is ajar when all four doors are closed tightly, but at least those doors still open and close with ease. When it's really cold outside, my heat doesn't work and when it's hot outside my air conditioning doesn't work, but the windows still open.

I have had my car for over 5 and a half years, and I bought it used, seeing as it is a 1999 model. I have only had to have major work done on it once a few years ago. There have been minor things here and there, but nothing too major or too costly. And for this is I am extremely thankful.

To my car that I never named:

You have been a great car, and I will be grateful to have you as long as you continue to run well - don't let me down!! P.S. I am sorry about your front bumper ... that was a rough day a long time ago, and besides, you are still beautiful on the inside! :)

I came across a great quote. This is all.

"Women in ministry is not about the cause of women but the cause of Christ. It is not about being a feminist; it’s about sharing hope."

(taken from: this site.)

Easter

There are lots of things that Easter brings:

Eggs.

Lots of Eggs.

Baskets.

Bunnies.

Chocolate.

Pastel colors.

New Dresses.

White shoes.

Great food.

Time with Family.

But all of those things are insignificant compared to . . .

The Passover Meal.

The broken bread.

The covenantal cup.

The Prayers in Gethsemane.

The betrayal.

The accusations.

The beatings.

The mocking.

The blood.

The Cross.

The death.

The burial.

The Resurrection.

The Empty Tomb.

The New Covenant.

The Redemption.

here it goes!

I have so much to say - and yet I blog minimally and about silly/fun things.  I think I have figured out why:  in the not-so-back of my head I think that whatever I write has to be perfect and profound.  so unless I have something perfectly prepared in my head, I don't write about it. Well, I hope those days are over!  I want to just write.  no pre-conceived ideas or pretenses about what my blog should be or say.  

I was reading this blog, and loved what God was speaking to her in that moment through her dad:  

"You know what I'm thinking of doing, Angela? I'm thinking of just putting up a blank canvas and just kind of going crazy, you know? Not have a plan for how it's going to turn out, but just get my brushes out and just do it."

Sometimes it's ok, even best, to just let go.  No fear of imperfections or mistakes, or even the final outcome.  Just pure passion and intense action.  [God knows the outcome, and I need to trust God instead of sitting here scared of doing something that will cause the final picture to be disorderly.]

One place I am going to start is with self-discipline.  I am going to give myself a routine, a routine that can be modified, but a routine nonetheless.  I am going to start eating healthier.  This involves preparation and time, as well as quick decisions and sacrifice.  I am going to start exercising on a regular basis.  I am going to have better sleeping habits.  The most important thing I am going to do is set a time for Bible reading and prayer on a regular basis.  I read the Bible and pray, but because my life has no routine, I do it whenever.  Which I still would like to do, but on top of my regular reading a prayer.  

These are things which I need to do on my own.  I have accountability with several of these things, and I am so thankful for that because I need it.  However, ultimately I need to be doing these things because I want to, and my desire to do these things must come from pure motives, motives that are grounded in living my life as a sacrifice unto God.  Selfless reasons.  Humble ambitions.  I don't want to do these things because it's expected of me.  And I also do not want to do these things in order to someday reach perfection, but my desire behind these aspirations is so that I might be all that I was created to be -which is disgusting without the redemption of Christ.  

Oh, and for your enjoyment:  my dear friend Ju-Ju let me use her snuggie during my visit, and it was only appropriate to adorn it with her rosary.  :)

Cleveland!!

Hello, blog readers!  

I am blogging from good ol' Cleveland, TN once again.  :)   No worries, though, I am just visiting for the weekend.  

I am having a great time!  I have seen lots of friends and enjoyed some of my guilty pleasures - actually I have enjoyed ALL of my guilty pleasures: 

1. Dr. Pepper

2. Chocolate Chip Cookies

3. Zaxby's

4. Ruffles Cheddar and Sour Cream potato chips 

On the way down here I had a small bag of those amazing chips.  Yesterday I had Zaxby's for lunch, and after dinner I had warm chocolate chip cookies.  and yes, that is plural..... And today I had a dr. pepper.  Could it get any better?!!  

Ok, back to real life.  I have been really encouraged by several of my friends here about my current status and future life decisions.  And I have gotten to have many stimulating conversations with people that I have missed oh so much!!  Basically, I am having a great time!! 

My fav animal...

I would just like to share this with you.  :)    (You may have to click on the pic to see the whole thing....sorry!)

see more pwn and owned pictures

Iron-y

UPDATE:  I just want to reiterate something I said at the end of this post:   I would LOVE to talk with you about these issues, but I am begging you, please, please take a day or two and pray about it and meditate on it before you approach me!   And again, I thank you.  :)

Ironically, just minutes before I created this blog, I wrote on my old blog, stating that it still existed.  haha.  Sometimes it's funny how life works. :)  Anywho, I wanted to post that same blog here, minus the opening statement.  :)

Today, you can call me Suzie Homemaker.  The last time I told my mom that I had been Suzie Homemaker, she said, "Katie Homemaker."  To which I replied:  "No, Suzie Homemaker -- my identity is not in homemaking, it is simply something I do once in a while."  

Yes, I am a feminist.  No, I am in no way suggesting that there is anything wrong with being a "homemaker."  In fact, I think that homemaking is quite an art, and I look forward to making my own home someday (Could it be sooner rather than later, Lord?).  However, for me personally, and I believe it is with many other women, homemaking is not something I want to be identified with simply because I am a woman!!  (I think that men are just as capable of being a homemaker, and many men could do a much better job at it than I ever could...) In fact, homemaking is not something I want anyone to identify me by.  First off and foremost, I want to be identified by who I am in Christ.  Secondly, I want to be identified with the talents that God has given me to use in ministry!  (Because God has called me to ministry.  If God has called you to homemaking, then GO FOR IT, and pursue it with all you've got!)  Then, someday if someone happens to put me in a "homemaker" category as something I do on the side of my purpose in life, I will gladly accept that charge.  

You see, one of my favorite parts of today was, believe it or not, ministry.  My church has an upcoming event for the kiddos, and somehow I ended up making the flyers for it.  (I am sure that it was a God-thing, btw.)  Today I spent a couple hours printing and cutting over 800 flyers.  (Thank you, AB and Starlite for hours and hours of experience in that department!!)  I loved getting to use the gifts God has given me -including the precious gift of time- to play a small part in the impact in the life of (prayerfully) many, many kids!  Especially, since, you know, I DO NOT LIKE KIDS.  Ok, I like some kids, sometimes.  And I love a lot of kids, most of the time.  But overall, I am not all about them.  Making the flyers gives me the opportunity to have a part in something that isn't exactly my 'cup of tea.'  And, yes, I somehow enjoyed the time I spent in the church office by myself (the part where Pastor came in and about gave me a heart attack-not so much).   I just love serving others, and I thrive off of getting to be a part of ministry!!  

Ok, back to the feminist thing.  If it bothers you that I am a feminist, then I suggest that you first take the time to find out what being a feminist really entails.  (BTW, There is quite a wide range of feminism out there, some more conservative, and others more liberal.)  And if you are still bothered by it, I encourage you to pray about it, and to read about women's liberation in a little book we like to call ---The Bible.  Yes, folks, you read correctly.  Jesus Christ came to bring liberation to all people -even women!  Have you ever read John 4, where Jesus talks to a woman at a well?  Yeah, well, men (esp Jewish men) did not go to wells, much less TALK to women who were there (esp SAMARITAN women...).  But Jesus did.  He did not care about the restrictions of the culture (esp the RELIGIOUS culture!), rather, Jesus cared about the spiritual well being of a person, who just happened to be a woman.  :)

Oh!  The implications of that story in John 4 never cease to astound me!!  Especially the implications of the little words in pink.  Jesus was a Jew.  Jews were (and are) God's chosen people.  Yes, folks, that is the same God that Christians serve.  When Christ came, he provided a way for ALL people to be a part of God's chosen people, despite their ethnicity, religion, or gender (among many other things ...).  So, if Judaism was "the religion" of the day (kind of like many people consider Christianity to be "the religion" of the day today...), and Jesus turned Judaism and many of its legalistic ideas upside down (have you ever read the New Testament, people!?), then why are we not called to do the same with Christianity?  Because over the last couple thousand years, I believe that Christianity as a religion has been distorted because, let's face it, that's 2000 years of BEING HUMAN...and we are by no means perfect.  Think about it - 2000 years of mistakes.  Yes, God is sovereign, and I believe that there is much truth still to be found in Christianity (hence, I am a Christian...), but I also believe that it is well worth it to (pardon the 4 Him reference coming on...I'm really really sorry....) "GET BACK TO THE BASICS."  And what, you may ask, are those basics?  Well, my friends, I am sure I am missing a few at least, but here is what comes to mind.  

• Jesus Christ is the Messiah, who lived on earth as fully divine as well as fully incarnate.
• Christ's ministry was  revolutionary   unorthodox.  
• Christ LOVED ALL people.  
• Christ died on a cross to bear the sins of humanity.
• Christ rose again!

(It wouldn't be a complete post without a list of some sort!  And what better list to have?? hehe)

Well, I have said a lot.  Over 900 words to be exact.  And I have said a lot that some would see as controversial, but these are all things from my heart.  I am so thankful that God has allowed me to learn what I have learned, and that I am nowhere even near done learning!!  So feel free to talk to me about any questions or concerns you may have!  Although, I do ask that you spend some time in prayer over the issue before approaching me about it. :)  Thanks!  

I love you all,

Katie

I have moved!

I have been thinking a lot lately about switching blogging hosts -- I have been jealous of everyone's cute little blog on blogger.  And, my old host wanted me to pay to truly customize.  And, quite frankly, I am not all about that.  So, here I am.