I have a problem.

I get on blogger.com to post a new blog, but before I can proceed to write one, I must get the latest updates on everyone else's blogs. Then, I have either lost my train of thought for the post or am too tired to actually write what I am thinking.

I will prob write tomorrow. There is a lot on my heart, and I want to share.

Gospel

It is more important to live the gospel than to tell the gospel. If you are not living it, people will not listen when you tell it. The word 'gospel' has come to have a negative connotation for me. I think this may be because more often than not, I find the word used by people who are flaunting their 'gospel' sharing (which is actually contrary to the true gospel), or by people who are so concerned about sharing the 'gospel' that they flat out miss the whole concept of the 'gospel'. Thoughts?

A Lesson on Friends

As you read this, I pray that you open up your heart and mind, and let God change your perspective on friendship.

At every stage of life, friendships are always difficult. As humans, we are constantly changing. Sometimes it is for the better, and sometimes life just happens. At this stage in my own life, I have struggled with friendships, and yesterday I came to a conclusion.

I am going to be a good friend to everyone, with no strings attached.

I think this is a great place for me to be. I cannot give of myself, expecting something in return. I must trust in God, and remember that I have numerous friends who are constantly pouring into my life. I must cherish them highly, yet not forget those who do not always pour back into my life. There are many reasons this happens, and it is irrelevant to discuss them because I am called to love and serve regardless.

And I really do love all of my friends. I want to be a part of all of their lives, and I want to support them. So, even when this may be difficult, I will support them in prayer, because there is no greater way to show your care for someone than by praying for them.


Proverbs 27:6- Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses. Even when a friend may hurt you, they are still your friend and will still be there to support you when times are rough.

Jesus was a friend to tax collectors. Do you really think that he 'benefited' from those relationships? I highly doubt it.

The very moment Judas betrayed Christ, Jesus called him, "friend." Think about this one. Wow, the implications!

It's funny how God speaks at just the right time

I had a revelation from God last night. And it actually has everything to do with my last post.

When I was in college, I was taught that human beings are intrinsically evil. I had a real issue with this, mainly because I couldn't wrap my head/heart around the concept that God created evil beings. However, I now believe that we are intrinsically evil beings. But it's not because God created us that way - it's because of the curse of sin! Adam and Eve were not intrinsically evil, but every human after them has been and will be. Why didn't they teach me this in my theology classes? I am pretty sure they did, it simply did not click. :)

So, I am intrinsically evil, but God. God offers redemption. With God, I am on a journey to a restoration of God's intended state and purpose for creation. Because of Christ's death and resurrection, I am able to do so.

I am a dead tree, until God starts working in me, and brings me to life and bears fruit through my life. It has nothing to do with anything I can do on my own, but it is God in me, making me the person God wants me to be - and that person is awesome. God created me to be a fantastic being who carries out God's will. Without God, I am not that person. But with God, I am well on my way to awesomeness. :)

So, in case you haven't gotten the connection with my last post and this one, here it is: Self-esteem should be in correspondence to who you are after Christ's redemption. You should have confidence in who God has created you to be (you without the curse of sin), and all glory should be given to the creator. On the other hand, you must also be humbled by the fact that you are intrinsically evil, and a sinner. Only compare yourself to Christ, and you will realize your failures, yet remember that Christ died so you can be who God created you to be!

Handle with Care.

There are some things said in this post that are delicate to me, so please take what you read and handle it with care.

Pride: 1 : the quality or state of being proud: as a : inordinate self-esteem : conceit b : a reasonable or justifiable self-respect

Proud: 1 : feeling or showing pride: as a : having or displaying excessive self-esteem b : much pleased :exultant c : having proper self-respect*

There is a fine line between good pride and bad pride. And I think this is an issue that is never properly addressed, if ever. Actually, I have never heard anyone else talk about it in this manner.

We are taught throughout elementary school and junior high and high school to have good self-esteem and to respect ourselves, yet at church we are taught to not be prideful or think too highly of ourselves. These are two apparent contradictions, and are never discussed together.

For most of my life, I was shy and unsure of myself. Self-esteem was never a strong point until about half-way through high school. Even now, I need frequent encouragement. I tend to doubt myself, and yet there are times when I am overconfident and prideful. How can this be?! Everyone has their ups and downs, and sometimes when I am discouraged, I cover it up with "my rights." My right to do this and my call to do that. I should be the one doing this because I could do a better job. In reality? I am frustrated with the fact that I am not doing what I feel I am called to do, and it's discouraging. My pride is almost always a show -a way of hiding my true feelings. Sometimes it's hard for me to distinguish between pride and confidence. Why? Because confidence is pride. I need to learn that pride is good - in moderation and humility. You are probably thinking - whoa, how do you have humble pride? Humble: 1 : not proud or haughty : not arrogant or assertive 2 : reflecting, expressing, or offered in a spirit of deference or submission. So, it's possible; it's possible to have a humble pride - confidence with a spirit of respect and esteem.

*All definitions taken from m-w.com

Success.

This is a post I started writing a while ago, and never finished. I am interested to see what your thoughts are on it. Please comment! :)

"Do we really explore the possibilities of God?

What's the most exciting thing in your life? Don't answer me, answer straight up to God. Tell Him what is the most exciting thing.

That you become more knowledgeable, make more money, become more fit?

What is the most exciting thing to you?

Is it that day by day you slip in to Him and worship and adore Him?"

-Leonard Ravenhill

So I have been thinking lately about "success." As a recent (although it's really not all that recent anymore....) college grad, I have thought a lot about success as the world defines it. To world, success is (a) having a job (b) having a good/decent paying job (c) enjoying that said job (d) buying things such as a house, or a new car with the money from said job. oh, and don't forget the kids. yes, success is also obtained by finding and marrying the person "of your dreams" and having beautiful children. In conclusion, being single, unemployed, and living with your parents after reception of college degree is highly unsuccessful, and quite loser-ish in the eyes of society.

However, I have come to the realization that God's concept of success is COMPLETELY different.

I just want you to know ...

It's the little things about myself that I want someone to know and love. For instance, tonight I balanced my check book and organized some papers that have been piling up for a month now, and I feel so on top of things! It's not that I feel productive or accomplished, but I feel like me. I thrive off of being organized and on top of things; I can't tell you how freeing it is to have my to-do list shortened, much less finished!! (however, it never seems to be finished .. haha) It is this little aspect of who I am that I want someone to notice and cherish. Not that it is something to be cherished, but because it is who I am.

P.S. This is the type of post where I share my heart, so please don't abuse what you read. :)