Today is my grandpa's 80th birthday!!!!!!!

Hello, my loyal readers! (and those of you who may be new! or, not so loyal ... I mean, I am not exactly the most faithful blogger on the net .... haha)

This post is going to be a hodge podge of things. I have had a great week, despite a few minor things that are not worth going into, or happen to be TMI for the world wide web. : )

This week I stocked up on a few items ... on of them being contact solution. "Hmmm, that's an odd thing to tell us on your blog," is exactly what you are thinking. (Ok, I told you in the last post I should never assume anyone thinks like I do, but sometimes it's fun to pretend.) Well, my friends, one of the name brands of contact solution was on sale for $7.99 at Wags this week, and when you purchased it this week, you got $8 in register rewards (like walgreens cash/gift certificate to use in the next 10 days)! Not to mention the $2 off coupons I used on top of that, as well as the $1 off now coupon I found yesterday! Needless to say, I made money on this stuff. This stuff that is usually quite pricey! You got it, folks, I AM A COUPONER! New to the biz, I am not the best, but I am having fun and saving money! : )


This week has been one of building relationships. Not new relationships, but continuing to grow those that I already have in place. I have taken my evenings to spend time with some of those that I love and care about, some that I hope is the start of spending more time with them. There is something about relationships that demands priority, and I plan to keep my priorities in line.


I am super excited about the rest of this weekend - celebrating grandpa's 80th birthday today, preaching tomorrow evening, and relaxing and spending some quality time with people that I love on Monday at the lake!!

I hope to have some great stories for you next week!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GRANDPA!!! (ok, so he will never read this, but it's the thought that counts!)

Stuck in the middle.

Your first thought when you read the title of this blog was either (a) "Squeezed in the middle, smack dab in the middle" (and now you want a choc chip cookie .. you're welcome.) or (b) She is in the middle of a fight between two people she knows. However, it is neither of those.

{Disclaimer: I should probably never assume any one else in the entire world thinks like I do, LOL}

I feel as though I am stuck in the middle of two stages in life: ~The single, college student, or recent college graduate~ and ~the married, career woman and/or mother~

This is unsettling in many aspects, but there is one semi-major aspect that it seems to be affecting tremendously: Friendships.

Who else in the entire world understands where I am at? The answer is probably my sisters. And I am so thankful for them, but I also need to have other friendships, to go along with the awesome relationships I have with S and T. But other than my sisters, my friends are either: (a) in a serious dating relationship (b) married (c) still in college. I firmly believe that it is possible to have great relationships with all of my friends, no matter what stages in life we are in. However, there is a limit to these relationships.

Here are some of the issues:
-I don't fully connect with anyone. There are times when I do, but I always seem to hit a wall.
-Immaturity. Sometimes our goals and desires for life are just different.
-Being a third wheel.
-Schedule conflicts.
-General conflict of interests.


You know? This is the part where I offer some great wisdom about how to deal with the issue I just wrote about, or how I am growing because of it. But I just haven't reached that point. I am in conflict, and I don't know what to do or where to go, or who to confide in.

All I know, is that being in the middle hurts.

Fine. Arts. 2010.

Just a few of my fav pics that I took at IL FA2010 .... : )

Frustration.

Nothing new here in Katie-world. Just more and more frustration.

I am SO THANKFUL for a full time job!! I got a job as a medical records representative. I am on day two of training, and it is exhausting. It's been a while since I've tried to cram this much info into my brain at one time. :)

However, somewhere inside there is still a disappointment that I don't have a career in the ministry. When I was younger, I feel as though I was always hearing preachers say, "The last thing I wanted to do was full time ministry, but God radically changed me and threw me into full time ministry" So, as I had a burning desire to do ministry, without "denying" my call, I never thought I would end up with a Bible/Theology degree and working an office job at the age of 23. I thought 23 would be the perfect age to be engulfed in youth ministry. I mean, afterall, I was actually PREPARED and had taken the right steps toward ministry! How would I not be in full time ministry in a church?!

Apparently God had a different plan in mind. I still have no idea what it is.

Meanwhile, I am working in three different ministries at my church. 1. I am teaching the youth Sunday School class. And I LOVE LOVE LOVE it. 2. I am a part of the Delta team. (a young adult ministry). I also LOVE this. I need the fellowship and I love love love getting to preach. 3. I am a part of the 'advisory council' for our church's other young adult ministry. I don't know how I feel about this yet. I'm not sure my vision for it lines up with the other people involved with this. I am leading this week, so we shall see!

I think that's about it for my life update. Thanks for reading.

I think i figured it out.

More often than not, I am pretty reserved. I think I figured out why.

Whenever I let go of all reserve, and am really myself, I think I come off as overbearing. And every time I am comfortable with a friend, I get hurt. I just really wish that people could love me for me, despite the parts about me that they may not like. It's called love. We aren't called to love people because we enjoy being around them, or because there is nothing to dislike about them. We are called to love people. No matter how annoying we may be.

God, I thank you for loving me just the way I am. Your mercy is more than wonderful.

Can endorphins prompt talkativeness?

So yesterday I wasn't in a very talkative mood -that is, until after I worked out. And minus the 12 hour migraine, I haven't stopped talking since. I am pretty sure I have started to annoy everyone around me with talking, so here are some things I have to say. Whether they are important or not, well, that is for you to decide.

• I shouldn't have caffeine the night before an interview.
• I need to have a better attitude about a certain situation in my life. I think I have prayed, "Remove me from this situation," or, "change the situation," enough. It is time to honestly desire for myself to have a better attitude. This is difficult because, quite frankly, I don't know how. How do I not react to certain things? How do I respond maturely? How do I support something I disagree with on so many levels? Do I have to determine to agree with it because that's the way it is and it must be "God-ordained"? This situation produces a lot of emotions and awkwardness for me. I am flat out tired of dealing with it. But it is a part of my life and I have to deal with it. I am going to start my attitude change with being thankful that this is one of the toughest things in my life right now, and put into perspective, it's really not that bad.
• I still have not taken down my Christmas tree. And I didn't do laundry today like I needed to. And I didn't go to my grandparent's house like I said I prob was. And I didn't apply for any new jobs or do any job searching. And I didn't wash my car. Conclusion: I was supposed to have a productive day today, and I had a very unproductive day. But my day was not wasted, as I spent some time in prayer, as well as some time with my sisters. Thank you, Stacy for taking care of me when my head was being obnoxious this morning.
  
• Why is it that I have SO MUCH to say?!! Can't I slow my brain down?! Why do I feel as though someone, besides God, needs to know what I am thinking?
• How do I have confidence without being obnoxious or annoying? If you are my friend, will you tell me when I am being annoying or overbearing?
  
• How come caffeine stimulates my mind so much? How come I feel so much better when having consumed it? It doesn't seem like it's so bad at the moment. But how do I consume it and not become addicted?
  
• AHHHH so much going through my head. It must stop so I can rest for my early and busy day tomorrow.
  

Lord, please have your way in my life. In everything I do, may it bring glory to your name.

It's time to write.

As I lay here, I am wishing that I would fall back asleep. Because I dread the exhaustion I will feel all day, esp around 3pm.

So, since I cannot sleep, I will write, because, let's face it, that's what everyone does when they can't sleep, right?


What Church Means to Me

As I reflect on my "church" experiences the last couple of months, I notice a pattern, a way of surviving, if you will. But in order for you to understand what this means to me, I must start with who I am, and how church correlates to me.

Who I am: a theologian. Even though I may not currently be practicing theology, it is what I love and who I am.
Church? Well, it serves to be a disappointment to me as a theologian.

Who I am: a Bible scholar. I do not claim to be a good Bible scholar by any means, but it is what I love and who I am.
Church? You see, it also serves to be a disappointment to me as a Bible scholar.

Who I am: a part of the body of Christ. I thrive in community, and could not live without it.
Church? Thankfully, serves to be a community to me as a part of the body of Christ.

These are three general statements, so please do not take offense. I am not speaking about one specific church, but primarily the pentecostal church, because that is what I know. (I know from experience how harmful general statements can be -harm is in no way meant.)


As I was sitting in church the other day, I became amazingly aware of something beautiful. I was surrounded by people that I love and support, and these people love and support me. As I reflect on that moment, I am so grateful that I have such a wide range of community in my life, and that it always extends to where ever I am in life -whether I see it or not. And this, this is more important to me than anything else on earth (aside from God, because, God is here on earth -in everything beautiful and loving).

However much I appreciate the community God has given me, I cannot forget the other components of who I am, and how they relate to the church. So, here goes - [stepping onto soap box]


The Church (as I have experienced it) has become so disconnected with theology and biblical scholarship, and I cannot seem to understand why this has happened. How could I have grown up in church and not have a clue about the history of Christianity until I went to college?! How come it is so important to know the history of the world we live in, yet the impact Christianity has had on it has been forgotten in not only the classroom, but the church as well?!

Sometimes the church as I know it is a joke. Where is the teaching? Where is the life of love that is to be lived, based on the teachings of Christ? Where is the knowledge that leads to abundant life? There is SO MUCH MORE to be learned, and SO MUCH MORE growth to be had.

Maybe the focus was too intellectual, so the church took the opposite approach, and left the importance of intellect out of spirituality. This is a terrible thing, folks, because there is only a certain level of spiritual maturity that can be reached without the intellectual aspect of your relationship with Christ.

I have found that among my peers, there is a longing, a deep desire for more than meets the eye. And I feel that we are being hung out to dry, forgotten within the church. Where are our mentors? Where are our teachers?

We must press on. We must learn from those who have gone before us with intellectual spirituality. I believe it can be translated as so: We. Must. Read. And we must read more than 'spiritual self help books.' We must read about our history. We must read what our founding fathers (and mothers) have left us! We must read what our theologians and biblical scholars are saying today. Because, it is important. It does matter. Even if we disagree, we must know what we are disagreeing with! It is important.


That pattern I was talking about (way back at the beginning of this post)? It's a pattern of making up for what is lacking with community. It is a way of life that I learned in college through a little thing called the Women's Roundtable. There was a lack of support for women in the department, so we came together (with the vision of Beth Staton and Barb Searcy and many other WONDERFUL women and men) and formed a community. This community was support, love, encouragement. Through this community I found personal growth, and made it through college quite successfully, despite obstacles and opposition.

I am truly grateful for that model of community, as I continue to grow in my current community of love and support.


So, in conclusion to all of this mumbo-jumbo, as the church fails me theologically and scholarly, I must do all that I can to change it. To revive the importance of intellect in the church. And I must cherish the community that I have found in the church, because, let's face it, that is why I continue to go.