It's funny how God speaks at just the right time

I had a revelation from God last night. And it actually has everything to do with my last post.

When I was in college, I was taught that human beings are intrinsically evil. I had a real issue with this, mainly because I couldn't wrap my head/heart around the concept that God created evil beings. However, I now believe that we are intrinsically evil beings. But it's not because God created us that way - it's because of the curse of sin! Adam and Eve were not intrinsically evil, but every human after them has been and will be. Why didn't they teach me this in my theology classes? I am pretty sure they did, it simply did not click. :)

So, I am intrinsically evil, but God. God offers redemption. With God, I am on a journey to a restoration of God's intended state and purpose for creation. Because of Christ's death and resurrection, I am able to do so.

I am a dead tree, until God starts working in me, and brings me to life and bears fruit through my life. It has nothing to do with anything I can do on my own, but it is God in me, making me the person God wants me to be - and that person is awesome. God created me to be a fantastic being who carries out God's will. Without God, I am not that person. But with God, I am well on my way to awesomeness. :)

So, in case you haven't gotten the connection with my last post and this one, here it is: Self-esteem should be in correspondence to who you are after Christ's redemption. You should have confidence in who God has created you to be (you without the curse of sin), and all glory should be given to the creator. On the other hand, you must also be humbled by the fact that you are intrinsically evil, and a sinner. Only compare yourself to Christ, and you will realize your failures, yet remember that Christ died so you can be who God created you to be!

Handle with Care.

There are some things said in this post that are delicate to me, so please take what you read and handle it with care.

Pride: 1 : the quality or state of being proud: as a : inordinate self-esteem : conceit b : a reasonable or justifiable self-respect

Proud: 1 : feeling or showing pride: as a : having or displaying excessive self-esteem b : much pleased :exultant c : having proper self-respect*

There is a fine line between good pride and bad pride. And I think this is an issue that is never properly addressed, if ever. Actually, I have never heard anyone else talk about it in this manner.

We are taught throughout elementary school and junior high and high school to have good self-esteem and to respect ourselves, yet at church we are taught to not be prideful or think too highly of ourselves. These are two apparent contradictions, and are never discussed together.

For most of my life, I was shy and unsure of myself. Self-esteem was never a strong point until about half-way through high school. Even now, I need frequent encouragement. I tend to doubt myself, and yet there are times when I am overconfident and prideful. How can this be?! Everyone has their ups and downs, and sometimes when I am discouraged, I cover it up with "my rights." My right to do this and my call to do that. I should be the one doing this because I could do a better job. In reality? I am frustrated with the fact that I am not doing what I feel I am called to do, and it's discouraging. My pride is almost always a show -a way of hiding my true feelings. Sometimes it's hard for me to distinguish between pride and confidence. Why? Because confidence is pride. I need to learn that pride is good - in moderation and humility. You are probably thinking - whoa, how do you have humble pride? Humble: 1 : not proud or haughty : not arrogant or assertive 2 : reflecting, expressing, or offered in a spirit of deference or submission. So, it's possible; it's possible to have a humble pride - confidence with a spirit of respect and esteem.

*All definitions taken from m-w.com