So here I go again, writing about relationships.
I figured it out. Why everyone feels the need for a significant other. (Ok, well, minus the physical part...lol). Take a survey, and I bet you will find that what people want in a relationship with a significant other is to feel loved, accepted, and they want someone to care so much about them that they know that something is up, even before you tell them - not to mention the part about wanting someone to always be there when you need them.
Wait .. isn't that what a friend is supposed to be? So really, all people want in a relationship (BESIDES SEX, PPL!!!) is a true and loyal friend?! So why are people constantly searching for a significant other, when we should have that loyalty in our friendships?
I understand that not everyone can be that loyal of a friend to all of their friends, but everyone should have at least one friend who they can trust to be that close and that loyal.
I think that more often than not, a girl leaves this kind of loyal friendship to have a relationship with a significant other. They say that a guy should never come between a good friendship, but in our society, it always does. And it is "acceptable."
I'm sorry, but I think this is a terrible thing. Let's let our physical attraction and our desire for that American family come between something that you have been building and working on for years. That makes sense.
I guess I am just really confused at what friendship is, and how it works and how it is supposed to work.
That's all. Sorry for the rant, but I would really like some opinions, please. Thanks!
Well, I'll make a few comments. Firsty, the reason we all feel like we need a significant other is because we were not created to be "alone." God said this himself before he decided to make Adam a suitable help-meet. See, Adam was looking for a suitable life partner BEFORE God even created Eve. It was entwined within his very nature, and even though he walked in perfect harmony with God... he still desired somebody or something to share his life with.
ReplyDeleteSo even though I fully understand that God alone can fully satisfy the desires of our hearts... I sincerely believe PART of those desires are fulfilled within that "significant other." We can no easier remove from ourselves the desire for another than we can blot out the sun by screaming "darkness" at the sky.
Now, that being said, you are right about a couple things. A large part of that relationship we seek is friendship, loyalty, companionship. I think Gillian Anderson says it well:
"Well, it seems to me that the best relationships - the ones that last - are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. You know, one day you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is... suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with."
See, when we’re incomplete, we’re always searching for somebody to complete us. When, after a few years or a few months of a relationship, we find that we’re still unfulfilled, we blame the boy/girl and take up with somebody more "promising." This can go on and on—series polygamy—until we admit that while a partner can add sweet dimensions to our lives, God, and God alone, can fulfill us. Nobody else can provide it for us, and to believe otherwise is to delude ourselves dangerously and to program for eventual failure every relationship we enter.
I will hand it to you though. You are spot on about one thing. Everybody SHOULD have at least one friend who they can trust with their whole being. If any relationship with a girl/boy causes you to neglect that, or any other friendship, it shouldn't be. It's not acceptable, it's not Biblical, but it happens all the time.
I suppose all in all, there is truly only so much a friend can do for you. I know from my own experience, and the experiences of those around me. I HAVE one of those friends you speak of... but it could never compare to the relationship I desire with my wife. There is a level of emotional, spiritual, and physical intimacy we are created for that can not be obtained through a standard friendship. God calls the church the "bride of Christ" for a reason. He doesn't call it the "life-long loyal friend" of Christ.
Anyway... those are just my really long thoughts.
Oh, quick after thought. I think a really good definition of why that "significant other" has a purpose. Marriage is "a lifetime commitment to constantly provide emotional intimacy to your spouse, thereby uncovering your true self and, ultimately, your unique purpose for being created."
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